The Key to Happy Parenting.....

IS TO SURRENDER TO IT!! 

Ok...we may not know the *key* to happy parenting but Makoto and I have definitely learned that we are much more relaxed since we have completely surrendered to our *new* life as parents!  It's really very odd....we still see our friends, eat the same food, visit the same places, etc but it's on a completely different time schedule.  For instance, we much prefer to have lunch get together with our friends now instead of dinner get togethers as Aria is in the bathtub by 7...7:30pm maximum in order to get ready for bed.  We are also up at 6-7am every morning now (it feels SO weird to actually be the first inside cafes in the morning..or sometimes even having to wait at their locked front doors hoping they will open soon!) so we get a lot of our errands done 1st thing in the morning instead of after work.  Instead of trying to force an ideal schedule with the baby, we've become very realistic about what can be done with having a bouncing baby in our lives.

One morning, we were up at 5am.....Aria was smiling and cooing away and Makoto and I were just staring at her with bleary eyes.  This is when we did our 1st morning "count" (note:  parents are obsessed with counting....how many poops did she have today?  how many oz of milk did she drink?  how many dirty diapers? etc)...."how much sleep do you think we got last night?'  The answer is always the same....."I lost count after the first 2 feedings".  We decided that we would no longer compare our new sleep schedule to our pre-baby sleep schedule because it was...well...just too depressing!  I can't even remember the last time I slept for more than 3hrs straight!  now Makoto and I high five each other if she "sleeps in" until 8am.  Instead of asking how many hours of sleep we got, we've decided to just ask each other if we feel well rested enough to get through the day.

That's the craziest part of parenting.....it's honestly the hardest thing we've ever done but we love doing it.  Some days are better than others...but no matter how hard things get, there are these sweet moments where I look at Aria and just know that everything will be okay.  Don't get me wrong....I'm that crazy anxious first time parent that will probably follow her to school every day....but somehow we'll manage to get through it......I can't believe it's already been 6 months!  Yay!

Here are some tips on what has helped us get through the first 6 months:

1.  Take the never ending free parenting advice that is *graciously* thrown your way with a grain of salt - you know your baby best and no two babies are alike!  (yes...i realize this tip is being followed by a list of more advice :P  Please take what you need from it :))

2.  Make sure to control your blood sugars with adequate protein intake and not overdoing the carbs....even if you're convinced that 10 chocolate chip cookies will miraculously turn you into superwoman....it never does :(  The last thing your baby needs is a freaky sleep deprived hypoglycemic parent :P

3.  Don't panic about sleep.  A lot of people told us to sleep when the baby sleeps...umm...sorry...I'm not a robot that can just fall asleep when told.  In fact, I found that when Aria has a nap, that's when we are the most energetic because I finally have some time to just relax.  Also, a lot of people find that if you do sleep when your baby naps, you wake up even more groggy when your baby wakes from their nap so it isn't even worth it.  If you can have a power nap, GREAT!  If not, just use this time to rest.....have a cup of tea, catch up on your favorite blogs or just watch some tv :) 

4.  Network with other parents.  I am SO grateful for our group of mommy/daddy friends.  We appreciate and love all of our friends but I know that when Aria is having a system meltdown and I have to stop in the middle of the park to breastfeed, my friends with kids won't even bat an eyelash and will instead offer to watch my stroller for me while I nurse.  It is SO helpful gabbing with other parents about the day to day stuff.  As a naturopath, I can be objective about introducing solids, how to treat a diaper rash, etc but no one taught me about the "in-between stuff"....there seriously should be a prep course on what to do with your baby between the diaper change-feeding-napping times.

5.  Hang in there!  It does get easier!  Remember....if you were thrown in to any job full force, there would be a learning curve so be patient with yourself!
 
:)
Aileen Lim-Trotter

Preggy Time: Third Trimester, Labour and Delivery...and Now :)



I didn't have time to finish my third trimester blog before the baby came so I thought I'd write about everything up to now all in one entry :)  Mostly because at this point, the 3rd trimester is just a distant memory since time with the baby has thankfully been a blissful experience for me....and....the labour part...or mostly the pain of it...trumped any of the peaceful memories of the 3rd trimester! :P

The third trimester was smooth sailing for me except that the baby grew and grew and became heavier and heavier to carry around.  I also should have just lived in the bathroom as all the pressure on my bladder made me visit the little girl's room every 45min-1hr!  Our little girl was breech until the 35th week and then she remarkably turned!  We went to Miami for one last quick getaway and I did a lot of swimming which, I swear, did the trick.  I also had Makoto give me frequent acupuncture treatments to help turn the baby and I spent as much time as I could walking on my hands and knees up and down our living room.

Labour and Delivery -  We had a quick and completely natural birth.  But.....Oh.  My.  Gawwwwwwwwd.  Ok....I don't want to scare any of my patients or my friends that are soon to give birth...and please keep in mind that every birth experience is different...but HOLY SCHMOLY was it ever painful!  People keep asking me to describe it...and the closest way I can describe it...which is still a very distant comparison....is going in for a root canal without proper anesthesia!  The entire process was a fast one for us.....8hrs from start to finish.  I...of course, being the first time mom and naturopath that I am, decided that I would try for a natural labour.  This meant that I was not prepped for an epidural....so of course, half way into it, when the contractions really started kicking in (oh...and I was that *lucky* girl that quickly progressed from contractions 20min apart to 1min apart within an hour...and...to top it off...they came in PAIRS) I begged my nurse (who was aweeeeeeeeeeeeesome!!) for an epidural.  Buuuuut....apparently the hospital was TOO BUSY and there were no anesthesiologists available to give me an epidural!!!  I seriously wanted Makoto to find a blunt object and knock me out with it!!  It's amazing how the availability of the anesthesiologists can dictate how many natural births may take place!

So basically....I was lying on the bathroom floor in the delivery room like a crazy wild woman....in so much pain that I could barely move.  Makoto was super supportive but there is honestly so much your partner can do for you at this stage.  He tried everything to make me feel better....held me in the different position that we practiced that was *suppose* to help decrease the pain, massage my lower back, telling me loving words, bringing me nanaimo bars (which usually makes me so incredibly happy)....but really, I just had to close my eyes and focus through the pain.  When I seriously thought I was going to pass out, our nurse (who was VERY pro natural birth) asked me to get in the bath tub.  She had placed an exercise ball in there and wanted me to sit on it.  I re-iterate....I COULD NOT MOVE.....but her and Makoto somehow convinced me to get in the tub and sit on the exercise ball.  She then placed a stream of warm water on my lower back and had me lightly bounce on the ball.....whatever the mechanism is, it totally worked!  The pain went from super @#$%(@ craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy ouchie to just craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy ouchie...enough to get me through another hour of contractions...and enough to get me to fully dilated!! 

I have heard that the pushing stage is suppose to "feel refreshing"....uhhhhhh.....this was not my experience.  Pushing is like having to have a crazy workout when all you want to do is pass out from exhaustion.  My team of medical doctors (there were 3 interns in the room with us that doubled as our cheering squad :):):))  and nurse kept telling me to "push through my bum and not my legs"...what the heck does that mean?!?!?  Oh...did I mention that they make you hold your own legs up while pushing!!!  Your knees literally need to be at your ears.  Ladies who are about to give birth...seriously practice this at home before going in!!  At one point, they asked if I wanted a mirror to see the top of the baby's head....in my delirium, I said "sure".  That lasted about 2sec......you think that you would be motivated by seeing your babies head but instead, all I saw was craziness down there....and I certainly didn't want to keep watching unrecognizable things happening to my body!!!! :P

After about 45min of pushing, our sweet little angel came into this world....it was early afternoon and the sun was streaming into the room.....I'll never forget that moment for as long as I live :)

At this point, you still have to deliver the placenta and this is when you get stitched from any tearing but because the baby was now peacefully laying on my chest, I don't even remember if that part was painful or not.  Since there were no complications during the delivery, they actually let Makoto have the last pull of the baby and place her on my chest!!  That was VERY AWESOME :) 

Here are some things we learned:
1.  Makoto and I laughed as we unpacked our hospital bag when we came home....we packed a head massager, massage lotion, all my hypnobirthing materials, a wide selection of music, reading material, snacks, essential oils, natural bubble bath........we didn't even have a chance to touch this stuff.  What we did use and were so incredibly thankful that we did pack was a HEATING PAD.  Makoto would place this over my back, chest, tummy....whatever I needed during the delivery and it really helped to soothe me in between contractions.  We also gave our nurses the natural diapers and diaper balm that we packed so that they could use them right from birth.

2.  Even if you want to try for a natural birth, be open to asking your medical team to prep you for an epidural...juuuuuuuuuuuust in case you change your mind. 

3.  Don't be too attached to your birth plan.  I had been practicing hypnobirthing techniques all throughout my pregnancy....ummm....I listened to my hypnobirthing track on my IPod for about 15sec....it did not work for me.  What did work was listening to relaxing music for the early stages of my contractions.  We also wanted to try for a squatting birth to help decrease perineal tears....but in the end, I was on my back.  Be open to trying all different types of techniques.....you don't know what will work for you and what does work may change hourly so keep switching it up!

4.  Our nurse pulled out a bottle of olive oil and gave me a perineum massage in between contractions while in the pushing stage to help stretch things out and decrease tearing.  Apparently all nurses are trained to do this and most hospitals have olive oil in the delivery rooms just for this purpose!!

5.  No matter how crazy the pain is, you do honestly forget about it once the baby arrives :)  Ok.....it may take a week or two to forget about it but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat to meet my little baby.

I can't believe how fast the time has gone by.  Baby Aria is doing great!  She is a good little feeder and sleeper...thank heavens!  I highly recommend spending the first month hibernating (I seriously lived in pajamas for a month) so that you can bond with your baby and take your time learning how to breastfeed, survive the night waking and teaching yourself how to function on interrupted sleep.  It's amazing how tired I am in the middle of the night yet I still get excited to wake up and see her and can't believe how much time Makoto and I can spend just watching her sleep :) 

I highly recommend motherhood
 :)
Aileen Lim-Trotter

Preggy Time - 1st Trimester

Now that I'm happily into my 2nd trimester of pregnancy, I can't believe how fast my 1st trimester went!!  I must admit that I've been pretty lucky and have had a smooth pregnancy so far....no major morning sickness, no puking and just some mild nausea.  One thing that I wasn't warned about was that you lose your appetite all together during the 1st trimester.  I often found that I just wasn't hungry....so I ended up losing weight my first trimester!!  One thing that was confusing was knowing what our next steps were once our pee-stick pregnancy test confirmed that we were pregnant.  After we calmed down from excitement/happiness/pure fear, we found that we had no idea what to do next! 

Makoto and I decided to go through the good ol' OBGYN route with our 1st pregnancy.  We had researched a list of doctors through a combination of referrals from colleagues, rateMD.com, and friends and I went to my GP with this list hoping to get into one of our top choices.  My GP (who is absolutely fantastic and I trust completely) didn't even look at my list and referred me to an OBGYN he works with and just knew that we would get along.  Well, he was absolutely right!  So far, I am very happy with our choice of going through our 1st pregnancy with an OBGYN.

My GP and his support team also set me up with:

1.  Blood test and urine test to confirm pregnancy and check out important blood markers like my anemia status, thyroid function, vaccine history, viruses/infections and of course blood type and Rh factor.

2.  Referred me for my 8 week ultrasound (warning......if the baby is too small to get a good abdominal ultrasound reading, they will do an intravaginal ultrasound! Uncomfortable if you're not prepared for this but absolutely amazing to see your little baby for the first time!!)

3.  Sent a referral to the OBGYN we agreed upon - from there, I have been going to the hospital that our OBGYN is affiliated with.

4.  After meeting with our OBGYN at our 12 week follow up, he sent me for 12 week ultrasound and our 1st round of blood work called IPS to rule out down syndrome, trisomy 21 and any spinal cord defects.  The IPS bloodwork has 2 parts to it and is actually completed in your 2nd trimester (and also factors in readings from your ultrasounds) so you discuss the results with your doctor well into your 2nd trimester.

It's been so exciting going to the ultrasounds to see our baby (Makoto calls it skyping with our baby) and our fridge and walls of our offices and waiting room at our clinic are now plastered with ultrasound pictures :)  I find that a common complaint with OBGYNs is that you feel rushed for time but we found that going into our appointments with specific questions helped to focus our time and we felt that all of our questions were sufficiently answered.

The following things helped me get through my 1st trimester:

1.  Not forcing myself to do...really anything!  I had a master plan of nutrition, exercise, meditation, prayer, vitamins, supplements, lists of books to read, etc all ready to go for as soon as I found out I was pregnant.  Then the reality of pregnancy hit my body and I found that I barely wanted to eat, let alone choke down my vitamins and fish oils, then would fall into a comatose sleep by 8pm.  I stopped pressuring myself to be on my "ideal pregnancy plan" and just went with the flow.  I made sure to eat when I could, take naps when I knew I needed them, slowed my social schedule, took walks around the neighborhood with Makoto and Rambo and pretty much took it easy. 

2.  I figured out that my nausea was instantly relieved when I smelled fresh lemons!!  I think that, for me, it was a sensory thing rather than a hypoglycemia/blood sugar issue.  Makoto even made this hilarious mask for me that had fresh lemon peels inserted into it.  But often just slicing fresh lemons and smelling them helped to ease my mild nausea.

3.  Keeping well hydrated.  There was something in knowing that my body was producing loads of amniotic fluid that helped me to constantly hydrate myself.  I drank loads of good ol' filtered water as well as iced peppermint/lemon/ginger tea to mix things up.  I found that it really helped dissipate headaches and kept my skin feeling great!

4.  When it was hard to take my prenatal vitamins and fish oils, I started juicing again as I found sipping a cup of fresh fruit/veggie juice was much easier to digest than capsules.  I also mixed my liquid fish oil into applesauce (just like how I prescribe to my wee little pediatric patients) and found it much easier to gulp down 1Tbsp of applesauce than pure liquid fish oil.  Also, making sure I had some food in my stomach before taking my prenatal vitamins and fish oils helped me to not feel as nauseous. 

5.  Communicating how I'm feeling with Makoto.  Makoto has been an amazing partner and very understanding but I also realized that he wants to be just as much of a part of our day to day pregnancy life as I am!  This is basically the biggest science project of his life and he has researched the benefits of proper nutrition, fish oils, exercise, etc on fetal development and I know that it kills him when he watches me eat a nutella sandwich for dinner.......3 days in a row.  We established from the beginning that the MOST important thing is for us to be peaceful and happy as a couple....and family :)  So we compromised....I can have my nutella sandwich as long as I wash it down with a cup of fresh veggie/fruit juice :)

All pregnancies are different.......we are lucky to have 7 friends that are currently pregnant as well and it's amazing how much variation there is in how we are all feeling.  Just remember the most important thing is to not put pressure on yourself, keep yourself comfortable....and enjoy this precious time!!

:)
Aileen Lim-Trotter

A Wonderful Blessing!!!

Makoto and I have some amazing news.....we're having a baby!!!!!  YAAAAAAaaaAaAAYYY!!!

We went for our ultrasound today which revealed that our baby is healthy....the best news ever :)  This is a picture of our ultrasound....our baby is sucking it's thumb....or trying to karate chop my womb :)

I've been lucky to have a great pregnancy so far (knock on wood) and we are over the moon with joy!! 

Lot's of pregnancy blogging to come!!  Hope everyone is enjoying this amazing weather!!